The mindlessness of Christmas has annoyed me for years. Every season, the same stupid songs, the same old TV shows and movies, the same jokes, the same decorations. For once I'd like to see Santa take the baby reindeer with the birth defect behind the workshop and shoot him.
And I'd like to see the parallel universe where George Bailey grew a pair and learned to say NO! to his feckless relatives and townspeople.
And I'd like to see the parallel universe where Scrooge gave Bob Cratchit a box of condoms so he'd stop fathering so many defective children, along with some financial advice so Cratchit could invest his way out of poverty.
Of course, Santa might have a problem killing Rudolf if Magneto shows up first and recruits the mutant reindeer for his army. "You are a god among insects, Rudolf; never let anyone tell you different."
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